


Nobody

by Yumoh



Series: Familia [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Reginald's A+ parenting, Vanya needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 13:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17868464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumoh/pseuds/Yumoh
Summary: Vanya has always wanted to disappear and be anything but unlucky Seven.





	Nobody

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta read so forgive any errors.

Vanya's life was as bland as the oatmeal she pushed around in her bowl every morning. She was unlucky number Seven who nobody wanted around. It was a fact drilled into her head. 2+2=4. The sky is blue. Vanya is nothing but ordinary. She always wondered why her father had taken her in when she had no powers. It didn't make any sense as she had no other attributes to make her of any value. Her looks were altogether plain especially when compared to Allison. She wasn't stupid but was no genius like Five. Her physical strength was abysmal at best and she was about as flexible as a wooden board.

The only boast she had was that she had some musical talent. Or at least enough to please her usual audience of Mom and Pogo. Her father would on occasion leave his study open as she played to listen in and occasionally critique her playing. The rest of her siblings however were not in the least bit interested in her playing not when they had better things to focus on. Luther and Allison were too absorbed within their own world to ever notice let alone talk to her. Diego was mad at her for stealing Mom's attention whenever she would ask her to listen to her practicing but he would begrudgingly listen in if Mom asked him to. Klaus once try to steal her violin to hawk for drugs but luckily Pogo caught him before he could smuggle it out of the house. Ben was caring enough to actually listen when she talked about music but his time was monopolized by Klaus and training. Five before he disappeared made time for her in between his experiments to listen to her play and he would give her music requests. In exchange, she was his lab assistant and sounding board to his crazy theories and experiments.

It didn’t matter how much closer she would like to be with her siblings as she was not allowed to be. Father had explained to her on a number of occasions that she simply could not be allowed to distract them from their mission. She was to stay inside and right by his side as the world was too dangerous for a fragile and ordinary girl such as herself. He started to treat her as a secretary once she became old enough as he had her pen down training notes and all his long winded rants on all the ambitious plans he had for the Umbrella Academy. She shelved and organized his files and personal tombes. But she was to never touch the red journal that sat on his desk. It felt nice to be useful for once and she knew all she had to offer was compliance and silence.

Her only acts of rebellion was in her food habits. Vanya had always been a picky eater as she hated certain textures and tastes. It was the same with sounds and touch as she dislike loud and harsh noises and avoided wearing certain materials. She had fuzzy memories in regards to her early childhood but she remembers that it had always been like this. But her fussy eating as a child morphed into something more destructive as she grew up. There was this bizarre little fantasy she had of disappearing completely. She never had a place here anyway so why not just go away like everyone wanted her to. So Vanya slowly stopped functioning. She stopped leaving her room. She stopped talking unless spoken to. The only thing she had energy for was playing her violin. It used to be the only thing she found she was good at. But she was quickly finding a new skill set. Her ability to endure the gnawing in her stomach for days on end. The poker face she procured when lying about already having ate. Being able to give the appearance of having ate with the right amount of animated chewing and slicing.

There was no vanity involved as she had no greater love for herself while looking into the mirror than she did 20 pounds ago. In fact she kind of scared herself with the too big eyes in a sunken face and the protruding bones everywhere. But at the same time she had a visceral satisfaction in achieving something even if it was this. So she continued on what she was good at, consequences be damned.

Nobody really noticed or commented as she slowly descended into her own demise. She had taken to wearing multiple layers to combat the constant cold feeling. Also she persuaded Mom to show her how to sew a little so she could take in her clothes which were too loose for her now. Her diet consisted of her meds and a couple spoonfuls of whatever they had everyday. Just enough to keep her head from spinning too much. She had never fainted in front of anybody and she was desperate to keep it that way.

The first person who ever asked her about her problem was Five, shortly before he disappeared. He was talking to her about time travel and was excitedly explaining his calculations which covered his walls in neat cramped handwriting. She was trying to pay attention honest but her body had other ideas. Her head felt stuffed with cotton and her vision began to fill with black speckles. Vanya tried to shake it off and stand up but the room quickly tilted and her vision blacked out completely.

She woke up tucked into Five's bed. He was perched on the edge of the bed with his face stuck in a thick book. Vanya still felt a little light headed but she still tried to make a valiant attempt at sitting up. The rustling alerted Five who set down his book to give her a critical look before saying, “You're not eating.”

Those words caught her off guard as she had not quite prepared for anyone realizing. She managed to mutter out, “I eat.”

The quirk in Five's eyebrow told her that her lie had fallen flat. He said,”If you were then you wouldn't have passed out. Also I wouldn't have been able to carry you after you crumpled on to my bedroom floor. Don't think I didn't notice that you're wearing two sweaters even though it is perfectly warm out.”

Vanya had a sinking feeling in her chest. She turned away from his probing stare and said, “It's not any of your business whether or not I eat.”

Five scoffed, "Not my business? Well next time I will just call Mom or Pogo instead and let them deal with this. Look, you are the only one who listens to me so I need you to listen to me now. Vanya, I have no idea why you are doing this or how long but you’re shaving years off your life and I can't allow that. Who else is going to nag me about being careful? Who around here is going to tell me about their overzealous obsession with Bach for 3 straight hours? None of the rest of the idiots around here, I can assure you. Vanya, I might be a shit brother but you are still my sister."

She curled inwards more as she said, “I'm tired of all this, Five. You wouldn't understand why I do this. It soothes me okay. Besides no one else cares either way so what does it matter anyway.”

Five sighed and said, “Vanya, I'm tired of all this crap too but you know what, you have to survive. Think about it. In a couple of years, we can leave this place for good. You can be a violinist and play to the crowds you've always wanted to. I will have honed time traveling and be able to publish my findings. But that future is impossible if you end up killing yourself.”

“I guess so,” she mumbled before extracting herself from under the covers tucked around her. She was unsure on her feet; her legs as wobbly as newborn deer. But by some miracle they stayed firm as she took step after slow step towards the door. Vanya turned back to see Five who looked at her with a mixture of concern, anger, and something unreadable.

“Thank you,” she found herself saying.

Five looked confused as he said, “For what?”

“Caring,” she said before shutting the door behind her. Vanya fast walked towards her bedroom as she hope to avoid anyone else because her eyes had begun to sting with tears. Vanya never had much luck so it was no real surprise that Diego bumped into her as she turned the corner. She ended up on the ground for the second time of the day.

“Watch where you're going,” he grumbled yet still offered her a hand up. She hoped that her bangs would provide even the slightest amount of cover. Vanya averted her gaze as she took his hand to get back up on her feet.

“You o-okay?” Diego said, his voice tinged with concern.

Vanya couldn't trust herself to say anything with her tears falling so she nodded quickly before she continued towards her room. Once she flopped onto the bed, she let out all the sob that she had been holding in. By the time she was done, any energy she had left was gone. She just laid there until she had to get up for dinner and go back to pretending she was a high functioning person.

Nothing changed after this except for Five's glares at mealtimes as he sat right next to her. He would nudge her under the table to take a few more bites. She obliged him even though it made her stomach turn at the prospect. He tried to bring it up when they were alone but she would shut down and try to change the subject back to music or science. Five was frustrated with her but she knew he would be more frustrated if she told him that she didn't want to stop.

Then he was gone. Simply vanished. Her only talking companion was missing. She coped as well as she could which was poorly. Vanya kept seeing glimpses of him everywhere. There were countless hours she spent staring at his calculations, hoping that somehow they would tell her that he was safe. She played his favorite songs for hours and hours until her fingers ached. Everyone else drew back even further as the team was now down a member. They were too worried about Five's disappearance to notice that she was disappearing too at a faster and faster rate.

She felt hollow and cold inside like a marionette. Everything after he was gone felt too much but now it had melted into nothingness. Vanya knew it wasn't right but she felt she didn't deserve to eat. If only she had run after him before he left then maybe he would still be here. But she didn't because she was useless unlucky Seven. He had told her of a future where they could escape together but even that was gone.

Every night since he disappeared, she would creep down to the kitchen and make a marshmallow and peanut butter sandwich (his favorite). It wasn't for her but for Five. She made it on the off chance that he would come back home so that he would have something to eat. But also as a sharp reminder to herself on why she couldn't eat. On the way back to bed, she would  leave the lights on hoping that they would act as beacon to guide him back to her.

She collapsed two months after Five went missing. It was in the shower and she hit her head on the way down. When she awoke, it was to a pounding headache and loud knocking on the door.

“Are you okay in there?” came the sweet voice of their mother.

Vanya reached up and turned off the running water. Then she gingerly touched her head and came away with blood. She knew that she wasn't going to be able to get out without help.

“Hey Mom. Can you help me in here? I had an accident.” Vanya said.

Mom picked the lock and opened the door. Her usual frozen smile dropped as she surveyed the scene. Mom assessed her head wound and used a wet hand towel to help staunch the blood. She helped Vanya get dry and dressed her carefully. All the while Mom hummed Vanya's favorite lullaby which was soothing when compared to the frantic sound of her own heart that drummed in her ears.

“Can you walk, sweetheart?”

Vanya shook her head as everything in the room spun. Mom scooped her up in her arms and carried her to the infirmary. It wasn't until her wound was bandaged and Mom had left when she started to panic. Father was going to be notified. She could already feel his cold gaze which made her feel even smaller than she was. What would he say? Would he even care? She didn't know.

Her curiosity was put out of its misery not an hour later when he came sweeping into the room. The first words out of his mouth were, “You disappoint me Seven.” She felt herself flinch as she tried to steel herself for the lecture.

He continued, “Your siblings get injuries from fighting criminals and you give yourself a concussion from bathing yourself. I raised you better than this. I understand it is delicate times since Five is no longer with us but this is not an acceptable response. I have enough to deal with when it comes to Klaus's habit. To be frank, I have no care what you consume as long as I have no repeat performances of this. Seven you were always one of the obedient ones so I expect you to follow orders.” Then he was gone as quickly as he came and she was alone again. On one hand, she wasn't surprised that he didn't care but there was still a piece of her that ached to find that to her father she would never matter as much as the rest of them.

After that incident, she still struggled with eating as her appetite was long gone. She barely managed to keep her head above water most of the time. If Klaus's problem was a visible explosion, her's was a quiet decay. She lived on despite not having any real reason to do so but at the same time it would be too much trouble to end it as well. When she was 18, she packed up and left. Everyone else beside Luther had departed and she had finally saved enough to get a dingy apartment.

Her life became monotonous after that. She worked and practiced that was all. There were no relationships she gained or people who gave her a second glance. It was like she was a ghost, unseen and unheard. Her only visitor in years was Klaus who crashed at her place for a night after rehab which he reassured her was an absolute last resort. He had scoffed at her empty pantry and barren refrigerator. He remarked, “Holy shit, there isn't anything even here. I always knew you were a light eater but this is a little much.”

Vanya shrugged before saying, “you can order takeout if you want. I have some menus on top of the refrigerator.”

“Yay,” Klaus cheered before he went to examine the menus. As he ordered, she went to bed as she was exhausted after a long day. The next morning she woke up to an empty house and a takeout bag with a note. It read:

Thanks for letting me crash at your place. You looked like you could use some more food so I ordered some for you too. Take of yourself sis.

-Klaus

She smiled down at the note as this was the nicest thing anyone had done for her in ages. Although the fact that a drug addict was telling her to take care of herself was a tad bit ironic and sad. Vanya actually ended up reheating the takeout and eating it. She honestly hadn't eaten at all yesterday so she only managed half but it was a small victory of sorts. Life was not great but these rare moment when she felt that maybe someone cared made it worth it. So she soldiered on.

**Author's Note:**

> Another sad fic from me but this time about Vanya. She honestly was tied for my favorite character in the show with Klaus, Five, and Ben. I hope you liked this and I adore kudos and comments so pls don't hesitate. My tumblr is @honeyedbuns if you want to talk abt umbrella academy


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